Drink Down A man orders two shots daily—one for him, one for his faraway brother. One day, he orders only one. The bartender asks, “Is your brother okay?” The man replies, “He’s fine. I quit drinking.”
Penguin Parade A trucker hauls 50 penguins. A cop says, “Take them to the zoo!” The next day, they’re headed to the beach—the penguins had fun at the zoo.
The Plasterer A talking duck orders beer and a sandwich daily. When offered a circus job, he asks, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
Slowpoke Centipede A man buys a talking centipede. After being ignored, the centipede snaps, “I’m putting on my shoes!”
Hell’s Handyman An engineer in Hell fixes everything. When God demands his return, the devil jokes, “Where’ll you find a lawyer?”
Big-Time Lawyer A lawyer fakes a busy call. The visitor? His phone installer.
Chick Magnet A rookie farmer keeps planting baby chicks too deep or far apart.
Bachelors A man’s cookbook is useless—he never starts with “a clean plate.”
Copy That? A worker mistakes a shredder for a copier, asking, “Where do the copies come out?”
Whoa, Amen! A horse only obeys prayers, stopping at a cliff edge when its rider yells, “Amen.”
Nutty Natter Hearing compliments at a bar? It’s the complimentary peanuts talking.
